Photo courtesy of http://www.whitneydafoe.com/projects/americanmap/Fortunately, most of my graduate coursework is uncomfortable. Growth is happening. It's less the skills gained and more the introspection that causes the most resistance, and thus reward.
This week, my class got up from their desks, cleared out the middle of the classroom and stood in a line. (Our professor asked us to do this; no anarchy here.) We were prompted to hold hands which caused eyes to dart and palms to sweat. There wasn't an acoustic guitar around. No danger of kumbaya.
Instead we began down the path of privilege. You may not feel privileged. After all, you have bills to pay, mouths to feed and have to work to get that done. But have you ever considered it a privilege to work? I think this past year has taught us a thing or two about gratitude in that regard. I'm reminded of it everyday watching struggle come in and out of my office. And yes, I still drag my boots into the office some days. . . lamenting and tired. No one is immune. Just recognize.
The instructions from the professor were simple. She read statements based on privilege. You took a step forward or back depending on your truth. Starting with our hands held they were soon much too far to reach.
- If your family owned their home, step forward.
- If your family taught you police were to be feared, step back.
- If your family had more than 50 books in the house, step forward.
- If either of your parents did not graduate from college, step back. (High school too.)
- If you are a man, step forward.
And it goes on.
I stepped forward a lot. So much I was out of the classroom, down the hall and near the stairs. Looking back didn't feel bad; but it felt important. To acknowledge and recognize. Privilege. I am privileged because of how hard my parents worked, yes, and because I have worked hard too. But I'm also white. I'm heterosexual.
You see? I was born with these things. Out of the womb I was already hundreds of steps ahead.
Past that, my parents were teachers. Chicago Public Schools. There's no inheritance or gold bars in our family. Their hard work laid a path, instead of a kind of brambled future, able to be traversed but dangerous, murky. . . obstructed by forces of nature. For me, the point and the purpose is simple acknowledgement to start. Of our privilege. Honest acceptance of that truth, and then, with hope, of our role in helping the others take steps forward. And yes, we have a role. America may be the landscape of individualism but even from my mountain top, where I could otherwise stay and swing in the breeze, it's my responsibility to hike down to sea level and start trimming the thicket.
To be the one who challenge a loved one not to slur ("When you're around me, it's not ok to say that."), or the woman who stands up to a man who is standing in front of another woman's self-respect. . . it's terrifying. I'm just considering, as I write this, what it might mean if we puffed our chests up a bit and gave an ounce. That adds up to tons of oppression removed.
Consider it; as I consider my own journey.
This is beautiful, and encouraging, especially the parts at the end about standing up and in an instant, removing oppression. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Jessica. I too think "in an instant" is just as important as a march on Washington. Real time correction. It's not easy. . . especially with loved ones.
ReplyDeleteAn Alternate Perspective
ReplyDeleteBe careful with this one, friend. Privilege is a bit of a tricky concept. The word privilege carries with it a negative connotation. We have been taught to think this way from our earliest days, unless of course we are fortunate enough to be born into it. Part of this exercise is to instill guilt in you for things both in and out of your control. Yes, you were born to solidly middle class parents but that is nothing to feel guilty about as you had no say in the matter. Do not feel bad about it, see it as a great opportunity.
Here in the United States we are all born, to a degree of privilege. Few places on earth provide everyone the opportunity to rise to the highest of their ability. Yes, I said everyone. No matter how low on the economic ladder you are born, you are free to create a vision for yourself, save your money and sacrifice to make your dreams come true. Look at all of the people who come here, sacrificing everything, who create much success for themselves. Look at Andrew Carnegie, a child laborer in a bobbin factory who rose to be one of the greatest and richest industrialists in American history. Nowhere else could he have done that. Look at what Ray Kroc, a native of Oak Park, did with his life. Neither of these men were born to great privilege yet each in the American spirit grew massively wealthy.
Privilege is like anything else, it depends on how you choose to use it. Do not grovel in shame at what you have been given, make the most of it.
Our responsibility is to teach responsibility, provide those less fortunate with the gift of vision and hope. Teach men that with hard word, sacrifice and dedication to one's dreams, anyone can succeed. Do not say, it is easy for me, a middle class, white man to say that. I have made the most of my talents. I have sacrificed. I have kept my own dream alive. Any any point, I could have allowed adversity to get the better of me. I could have given up, said woe is me. I did not. No, I do not know the plight of a gay black man living in the ghetto. I do not know what it is like, but I do know that if he creates a vision, sacrifices and looks for ways of making his dreams come true, he will find them. Wealth and privilege in this country are not limited, they are as infinite and diverse as the people who call America home. It is why people continue coming here, they are following the Dream. How is it that black people from Africa come here and find success? How is it that poor Chinese and Mexicans and Indians come here and succeed? Do they have some magic "thing" about them which puts them at an advantage over American poor? I don't think so, but if they do, perhaps the poor here need to study their immigrant brothers and sisters and see what they are doing right.
By the way, I'm glad to see that you went through that exercise in class. More than anything, what you should walk away with is an appreciation for what you have. I am thankful every day for what I have done with my life and the for the fruits of my labor. I am thankful, most importantly, for the people I have chosen to be a part of my life. I appreciate my second chances and my opportunities to make things right when I screw up. For I know that everything, absolutely everything, can be taken away from me at any moment. Understanding things enlightens me on a daily basis as to what is truly important, friends and family. The rest is just sugar on top.
ReplyDeleteI’ve done that exercise too and never felt a bit of guilt, no one said I was to feel guilty for having advantages. But I did feel some shame for putting on blinders, and my heart swelled with gratitude, humility and more . . .
ReplyDeleteIt helped me to wake up and recognize that in a nation of so much abundance that some people really are lacking. They are poor in resources, poor in knowledge and understanding, they have poor social networks, and they are poor in spirit.
I try to live by Spiritual directives . . . Proverbs 14: 31. He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God.
To be kind to these folks I have to SEE them. I can’t ignore, look away, feel contempt, or blame them. Those attitudes are oppressive. By not looking or acknowledging the limitations of our neighbors we say “You aren’t worth my attention let alone my kindness”
It’s nice when someone acknowledges your troubles. It is so nice when others are willing to help you carry your burden. Isn’t outrageous that some troubled person is praying to God for a miracle from heaven (like tonight’s dinner or help my kid stay safe on the way to school), when a small group of people or even one person has more than enough resources to make that wish come true? The miracles are in our hands and we won’t let go of them because the would-be recipients of those miracles are standing on the wrong place on the grid of life. Thank you Lord! Forgive me for not looking! Help me ignore those who would insult me for trying to make other’s lives better.
Go out and tell someone who looks sad, “You are wonderful!” I told the girl who drying my car, “Hey you Wonderful Person this is for you.” I handed her a tip. But the way her face lit up, I knew the words meant more.