Sunday, February 21, 2010

DDPP


I had jeans on. And I'm glad I read the disclaimer. I took off underwire in favor of sports and ditched the denim for breathable cotton. And yes, out too went the judgment of myself and the apprehension of the silliness and in came soooooo many smiles and grooves and bumps and jukes. I mean, this concept is sheer genius. Jenn Brandel is another kind of wonderful.

The studio looks nearly identical to your best friend's basement. The set-up is rudimentary and the prospects are endless. Our playlist, which changes every week, started with R. Kelly's "Echo" and lots and lots of laughs. It ended pretty much the same with plenty of Kid Sister and Gwen Stefani in the middle.

And the sweating, oh the sweating. I have been trying to get motivated to "work out" for weeks, months, years. . . and my version of working out just isn't the same as it used to be. My expectations have changed, and considering the only expectation I had at DDPP was to try something new I was pleasantly surprised that I pitted out and came up drenched after an hour of silly, sexy, full-on feet pounding dancing.

After the gaggle of us left we couldn't stop gushing. At one point, I sat back and listened to some beautiful women laud and smile about the experience. It's enough to make me get mushy, but DDPP is the best therapy I've had in a long time. Heart-pounding, thrilling and special for women (who get to be girls) everywhere.


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Holy Book


I picked up the Bible yesterday. We have a cute yellow designer copy leftover from the previous owner of our condo. Kind of like a Best Western, it was in the bedside table. Since starting my graduate degree pursuits, I've maintained that I need to get to know religion if I am to effectively counsel those who believe (i.e. 95 percent of humans). I'm in the minority but more than that, I'm ignorant.

My parents were rebels in a few important ways; one being pulling away from the church and its teachings after being raised Catholic. Right on! Except that leaves me an empty slate. All at once I lament not knowing Job from Deuteronomy. And my ignorance isn't just biblical, it's all encompassing toward religion. I went to church and temple growing up but those are mere freckles on my holy past.

I'm intrigued. Marc was also raised Catholic and rebelled so he's a good default for, "I know this is biblical honey, but tell me the origins." I'm impressed he retained so much from his time at St. Monica's in Kalamazoo. I don't even remember the 50 state capitols (ok, I probably do, but don't test me). His knowledge comes in handy, but my curiosity has made me crack the binding on the Book.

A couple chapters into Genesis and I've got more questions than answers. I suppose that is to be expected. What I think is really cool about attending a religious service surrounding the Book is it's a chance to come together with a common focus. Like a big book club. Talk about the stories and interpret in real life. That's what our gaggle did with "The Help" last month. We laughed, explored and exclaimed and that's a lot of how I might like to go about the house of worship experience.

My interest of late comes from the number of offers I've received from volunteers and clients to attend their church service, not as a process of recruitment per se, rather to invite me into a community. I dig that, and I'm up for it. All in the name of research and expelling ignorance, as we all need to do in one way or another.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Rap and Rapport

I'm no certified counselor but as I establish rapport and relationships with clients at work, we get in a rhythm that might as well be official "sessions." Brandon comes in every week. Thursdays at 2 p.m. We started working on an outlet for his stress, as his nails were down to the quick. He loves hip-hop, like many of the young adults I work with, but beyond Jay-Z there is J Dilla and Wacka Flocka Flame and, as I told him, The Rolling Stones.

Brandon is a lot like many of our clients. He is Black. He is young. He is unemployed. He is hopeful. But unlike many who self-select to the wayside, he's been determined. And so we write.

Because he has a speech impediment, I suggested his command of the language might best be typed. We started working on an essay, about his love of music and goal of being a producer. It's been through edits aplenty but more than that each time we renew it he's there, present and available. It's an opportunity every time he shows up to continue to inspire, engage and interact. We're getting close a final product but it's more than just a blog entry now.

It's a relationship. Close enough now that I can poke fun at him that he can only carry a black folder (he's a Vice Lord, Chicago's number two street gang and black is all there is) and he can tell me about his dad, Supreme Chief of the Vice Lords (that's like CEO) who did eleven years in a combination of Pontiac, Centralia and Rantoul penitentiaries. He gets upset that rappers like Lil' Wayne think they are "street" because they will do time and man up to the sentence but but when you are a celebrity, according to Brandon, you can't be street. It's different where he hails from.

I just listen mostly. He tells his friends about me. I'm not a nosy white girl, he says. I ask tough questions that get him thinking. The reality is many of his peers won't seek counseling but they need it the most. They won't meet with a white counselor because we can't relate to their legacy and heritage and identity. But I think it's moments like we had today, talking about Coltrane and racism, that I get really amped to be a counselor. To find those entry-points, exercises and conversations that really begin to help. Even if it is just listening.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Close Knit


In fifth grade, my friends and I had a midpoint where we would stop to warm up on walks to school. A gaggle of us walked the half mile (no, not uphill both ways, but yes, in the snow) to Mann Elementary huddling for warmth before the crossing guard bid us across the street.

Jocelyn's house was cozy. In fact, we stayed long enough to get beyond warm to hot and then went back out in the chill. It didn't feel so bad then, and school was in sight before we felt the urge to huddle again.

It's a cold morning walk still. I have several scarves and hats for different temperatures, but my favorite ensemble is one my mom made for me: an extra long, heavy duty, hand knit pink scarf with fringe and a matching skull cap. From under the winter armor, only my eyes peer forth and barely. (I confess I've walked with my eyes closed down Wabash many times, even counting the paces.)

I don't know how to knit but I'm grateful my mom does. I love my scarf that wraps around my neck three or four times before it's run out of yarn. It's my size: big. I also don't know much about cooking, other than I know what I like and want to be able to provide the same bounty of meals my mom did for my kid/s some day. I have less time to cook now than I ever have. . . and that may not change.

I don't know how to sew, nor do I know much about the best cleaning products. I've somehow lost touch with any form of domestication and I'm not happy about it. I have my mom's generation to thank for liberation, and prefer to read or work though I do fancy organizing. I'm not hard on myself about these things, but I do lament that the penchant isn't present. If it was in me, it wouldn't get lost as the genes and personalities are passed down to the next generation.

I suppose instead of knitting or darning or soup-making, I will teach my daughter how to write a resume and work with her strengths; how to ask for help and give too; how to tell the truth about who she is and hope she learns how to sit quietly better than me. Though probably not until well past puberty.

Mind you, I still haven't given up on making good soup, stews and sandwiches. But my time for learning will have to wait, hopefully not until it's too late.